At age 16, I planned out my suicide. What kept me from slitting my wrists in the tub in my foster home was the promise to my therapist that I’d be there the next week. Every session, she asked me to promise - one week at a time. She believed in me at a time when I absolutely hated myself. And for the first time in my life, I had accountability to someone else on the planet. She was the helping hand I needed in my most desperate hours.
Over the years, I kept working with others -- therapists, doctors, and coaches -- to get different viewpoints. I totally love my healthcare team. I worked through my darkest secrets with therapists to heal my emotional wounds. I worked with a health coach to use nutrition and exercise to heal my body and brain. I worked with doctors, asking them to validate my physical sensations. I tried pharmaceutical drugs for anxiety, and eventually moved away from them towards nutritional supplements. I attended different churches and 12-step groups. I have learned energy work and clearing. So I have always been a lifetime learner, open and receptive to new ways of doing things.
Yet for many years, I seemed to be looking outside for others to tell me that I was normal, I was okay. And they did. For that I am grateful.
What it boils down to, though, is that I have tried many systems to accept myself. But something always told me that I was different. I always felt that something was wrong with me. That I was weird.
At the same time, since I was a child, I believed - and I’m not sure why - that there had to be a better way in life. One that didn’t feel so odd, and hard. That belief of a better way, always my drive and passion, led me to begin an inward journey for answers.
Then one day, I picked up a blue book that said, “If you change your thoughts, you can change your life.” That’s when I began applying the work of Louise Hay to change my mindset. As I changed my mindset, I transformed my life in ways that I didn’t believe possible.
And eventually I realized I was an empath. Of course, I had known all along that I was sensitive. As a young child, I had heard that phrase - “too sensitive” - in a critical tone.
And I FELT sensitive. I could feel a shudder through my whole body when I saw a sibling cut a finger. I got easily overwhelmed and anxious, especially at the mall. There was even a time when I felt afraid to leave the house without my xanax. I would violently shake when a major event happened. I felt tummy aches to many foods I ate, even though I was trying to eat healthy. OF COURSE there was something wrong with me. These things were not normal.
And then I found out about Empaths, and I knew I was one. And I started to embrace my sensitive side. These things are normal if you’re an empath.
You see, I’ve been an empath - and intuitive - since I came onto the planet. My mom used to call my right eye my “lazy eye,” as my left eye is wider. According to Chinese medicine, when the left eye is held wider than the right, it reveals that someone is noticing more than others may realize. And I have noticed things more deeply and way ahead of time than others for my whole life. On some level I knew this. But several years ago, I walked out of the fog. I realized that I was given this awareness and sensitivity for a reason. It’s in my face. So, I adopted my intuition. It’s been there all along, I just didn’t know what to do with it. It’s been a process of acceptance, learning how to support myself, and now, there is no going back.
So now I think my intuition is awesome. It’s amazing. It’s powerful. And I have learned how to support it energetically and through my nutrition. I have a lifestyle that keeps me feeling grounded and the energies around me affected me less. Of course I still sense and feel them, but I know what to do so they don’t cause me problems. The anxiety I had struggled with for so many years has become a memory instead of a way of life.
I couldn’t have discovered my path and my empathy without the help of my tribe. The process has been painful at times, yet very rewarding. To my coaches and therapists, 12-step groups and certifications, I am grateful, for they have helped me make the changes I needed to make to find my joy.
Now, I am passionate about helping you. I want to empower you to get you off your butt and make the changes that you need to be a GROUNDED AND JOYFUL YOU. I want to give you ideas that you may not have thought of before to get you to where you want to go. I am passionate about walking with you to develop a personalized system so that you are not battered around by your sensitivities. They are on your side. So am I. So let's get started.